At the beginning of August I decided that I should go on a solo holiday. It wasn’t because of any problems at home or because I just had to escape, but more of an experiment. Would I enjoy being alone? Would I miss VIP’s cooking? Would I be adventurous and make myself go out? What would I possibly get up to?

I couldn’t go abroad (because of Covid-19 I’m deemed ‘high risk’), so a staycation it would be. And what better place to stay than somewhere I could stay for free – my parents’ place down in Margate.

Margate has come on in leaps and bounds in recent years thanks to investment in its infrastructure, new independents opening up and a more relaxed vibe. I liken the old town of Margate to a mini Brighton – it’s fun, funky and fresh – and I could happily while away the hours browsing the shops that line the cobbled streets.

My favourite pastime in Margate is finding street art that I haven’t before come across. There are some vibrant walls and when the family is with me, I pester them for Instagram-worthy pictures of me leaning up against the walls trying to look like I just so happened to be there. 

Anyway, I’m not here to write about Margate – that’s another post – but what I will say is this: As I sit typing up this blog post on my final day in this lovely seaside town, I’ve got a 101 reasons I can think of to take a solo break. Whittling them down to 5 has been tricky – but these are the main ones I can think of  – and they worked a treat for me.

1. NO DISTRACTIONS.

At home, the dishes need doing, there’s washing that needs putting on the line and you spend half an hour chatting on the doorstep with your neighbour. These are not bad things of course, but they’re the distractions that we all face on a daily basis. You’ll see something that needs doing and, if you’re anything like me, instead of ignoring it you’ll get distracted.

“I’ll just do this” you tell yourself. “It’ll save me having to do it later”….and before you know it, you’ve gone down a rabbit hole and are struggling to remember what you wanted to get achieved in the first place.

When you’re on holiday, there’s no washing to be done, no tidying up needed and no paperwork to sort out. It’s just you, a book and a beach waiting to be sat on. Whatever you set out to achieve, you can 100% achieve it. Got an essay to type up? Done. Got a schedule to plan for? Considered it achieved.

If this is one of the reasons for taking time away from friends and family, make sure you write down your priorities before you go. Always know what you want to achieve while away. It could be to type up a report, finish a book, explore the town back to front – write it down and work through your goals with no distractions.

2. A DIFFERENT THOUGHT PROCESS

Another reason to take a solo holiday is to have room to just think. The reality of what I’ve been through in the last 18 months has catapulted me on a rollercoaster of emotions. I’ve cried, I’ve laughed and I’ve questioned my life since the day I discovered I got breast cancer. To say it was the shock of my life is an understatement.

I endured a lumpectomy followed by six months of chemotherapy then a month of radiotherapy, and when it was finally over on 31^st December, 2019, I couldn’t have been happier. Now it was my time to celebrate. We had everything to look forward to – a new (healthier) start to the year and a holiday of a lifetime – the cruise I had always wanted to take, a trip to Mexico and the bright lights of Vegas and LA.

Only that opportunity was taken from me this year with the arrival of Covid-19. And everyone despaired. And everyone moaned. And while I hadn’t felt like I truly made the most of life in 2019 (I was fighting for my life after all), I was determined not to let Covid-19 wreck my 2020 too. I handled it really well; instead of my holiday abroad, I holidayed at home and redecorated the lounge. And that’s how I deal with frustration, anger, sadness and despair – I distract myself.

Taking a solo holiday forces you to revisit the things that have happened to you and how you've adapted to them. I’m proud of how I handled being at home for the last six months during lockdown, surrounded 24-7 by my family. We’ve shared some amazing times together – ones we’ll never forget. But I needed room for my brain to breathe – to reflect on what I’ve been through and to think about things in a more positive light.

Being in a new environment forces you to look at things in black and white. There has been someone in my life that has (probably unbeknown to them) affected me emotionally once too often. I have depended on them for friendship, for happiness and for support when needed. And it feels like they’ve continually let me down. Being away from the situation has forced me to realise that I’m not the best version of myself when I’m with them and that I need to change the situation – if only in my head. I’ve worked on getting ‘my bubble’ around me for protection (it’s hard work being an empath!), and I now know what I need to do going forward – and how to deal with them. Had I not come away to reflect on things, I’d never have come to this conclusion.

3. A CHANGE IS AS GOOD AS A REST

Whatever you get up to while away – 3-mile runs on the beach, meditation or 12-hour work days, you’ll feel like you’ve had a bit of a break with the change of scenery. And sometimes we need a change to spark imagination, creativity and ideas.

In my time away I’ve realised that it was great to set myself a lockdown challenge to learn all the capital cities of the world (watch the video here), but I’ve also realised that I thrived on that challenge. It piqued my imagination, got my brain going and gave me purpose.

I’m a strong believer in having purpose in life; it’s what keeps you driven, focused and productive. Having productive days when it feels like I’ve had a great balance between rest, work and play are simply the BEST days. These are the days that I don’t want to end. And coming up with new challenges – or deciding on what your focus will be all helps not only to get out of bed every morning, but look forward to getting out of bed.

My new challenges are focused on doing something just for me – both from a self-care perspective and in a business capacity and growing my own business that I started during lockdown. It will be an interesting year ahead – an even more interesting 2021 (if Covid doesn’t return!) and I’ve got everything to look forward to.

4. FIND YOUR PEACE

When you take a solo break you can do whatever you want, when you want. There’s no compromising with someone else, no fighting over the TV remote and no feeling guilty for the way someone feels.

You’re far removed from the regular life you live and it’s easy to find a little peace. I’ve used the stillness of the night to collect my thoughts, reasoned with myself on the decisions I’ve made and have enjoyed plenty of mindfulness sessions to allow me to ‘just be’.

Rarely in our lives are we left alone to our own devices; even if we live alone, you’ll have friends or family calling for chats, colleagues to liaise with and neighbours that need help. Getting ‘away from it all’ means that you are not answerable to anyone or have anyone to depend on you.

And because of this, you’ll face the stillness…the peacefulness. Some people might be uncomfortable with this, but I believe that it should be embraced – and used to be at peace with the person you are – and if you’re not, make plans to become the person you want. Taking time out alone forces us to really look at ourselves and our lives – the roles we play in society and how we can live happily and purposefully.

5. SELF CARE IS VITAL

One of the most important lessons I learned when I was ill last year was that stress is related to illness. When I discovered that I changed my daily habits – choosing to take time out to meditate, relax, go swimming, walk with friends…all the things I dreamed of doing regularly, but never actually got round to doing.

So after my diagnosis I changed my priorities. I started doing the things I loved more – spending time in the garden, baking, seeing friends more often – and it was wonderful. Liberating and so enjoyable.

I don’t think we place enough importance on looking after ourselves. I love the expression “you can’t pour from an empty cup” when it comes to self care. If we don’t look after ourselves and make sure we’re happy and healthy – both in mind and spirit, how can we impact those closest to us – our friends, our family?

We are relied upon by people every single day – at home, as a family, in business, with friends. And to be the best version of ourselves we need to make sure we’re in good health. Plus when you’ve enjoyed some self-care – whether it’s a pamper session at the beauty spa, taking a couple of hours out to read a good book or just have a good old chin wag with a friend, it will set you on the right path when it comes to being productive. It’s like having your battery recharged – it’s motivating, invigorating and inspiring.

In my 3-day break (and despite a six-hour headache where I was bed-ridden), here’s what I managed to do….

1. Binge watched Skin Decisions and Cobra Kai on Netflix
2. Meditation every morning
3. Went for a long beach walk
4. Read my book on the beach and magazines on the terrace
5. Enjoyed an impromptu shopping trip
6. Designed my new business card
7. Went food shopping
8. Enjoyed a visit to town and grabbed a Costa
9. Wrote this blog post!
10. Plenty of rest, just sitting thinking and making plans for the future

How do I know that I’ve really enjoyed my solo holiday? Well, I’m supposed to have the bags packed and the car loaded ready for my return to home life. And I’m desperately trying to come up with an excuse to stay another night.

I think I’ll make solo holidaying a regular occurrence going forward – for all the right reasons.

Have you taken a solo holiday? How did it help you and would you do it again?

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